Healing Fountain

Damn, that pie was good. Brian inhaled the flakey gooey goodness like there was no tomorrow. As Brian laid there licking his plate, he realized a mob had been staring him down during the past few seconds it took him to devour his pie. The pie that he had blown up like a balloon, rose into the sky, descended from the heavens, and cut everyone in line to claim. Good thing he did it in such an epic fashion. "You guys should try the pie", he said. The faces following his comment were not amused. Brian decided to seize the awkward moment and blow that joint.

Back to rollin. He took a right out the back door and then a right on to Maple St. The turn on to Maple St. was like being born again. The Maple St. fountain roared with beauty! Brian felt tingly. Something was happening. His eyes rolled back and he started to twitch. He twitched harder. The twitches increased with every moment. He was having a full blown seizure. Beams of light bursted from his stubs! He flailed and screamed! His body rose five feet into the air! Then it fell. His eyes rolled back into place. He inhaled deeply, stood up, lifted his arms into the air, and exhaled a new man.

Pie Gods

THhump! Brian fell out of his chair. Cursing under his breath, Brian rolled out of the restaurant and into the free air. Outside Brian was smacked by the taunting aroma of fresh baked pie. The thick streams of scent flowed into his nostrils and rested on his palate, peach and blueberries, yum. Brian sprawled out on the curb and let the stench seep into every square inch of his body. Only somehow it literally seeped into his body. Eyes closed and mouth open, Brian swelled up like a balloon. As Brian opened his eyes he saw an old friend named Mr. Farsk walk out the restaurant. And with the gust created by the swinging door, Brian sailed high into the sky. Up past the rooftops, he could see that the entire town was dark except for the diner. With extraordinary effort Brian aimed his body down towards the diner and began the descent. As the diner grew nearer, Brian could make out a massive crowd surrounding the place. After every second, roars from the crowd grew louder. Then there was an exclamation followed by immediate silence. He had been spotted. A synchronized gasp erupted, and he slipped into the back room with the oven to claim his prize.

Date with Fart Face

Brian awoke from his slumberous bath in a restaurant, sitting across from that fart face from the freak show. They ate dinner, made conversation, and it sucked! Forced to eat like a dog, Brian's experience in the restaurant was embarrassing to say the least. Fart Face's adequate vocabulary and presence of limbs degraded Brian to dirt. "He thinks he's so charitable, sitting with a cripple like me. People probably think he's embarrassed to be with me, well I'm embarrassed to be with him!", Brian thought furiously. When Fart Face's fart face was turned, Brian clenched his steak knife with his teeth and stabbed his wound savagely letting his innards ooze into Fart Face's drink.

The innards of the octopus people have been known to have extraordinary powers. With the taste of fruit punch and the hallucinogenic effects comparable to large doses of LSD, Brian knew Fart Face wouldn't be abducting him for anymore surprise dinners.